Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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