at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
