Cold hands, warm shart.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
