Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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