I look better un-naked...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
