I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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