There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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