Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
