why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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