Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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