between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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