You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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