i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
