she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
