I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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