i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's blow job season.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
