My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
