This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
