Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
