Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize