You made me cry and you don't even care
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
