this beer tastes like vomit already
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
