Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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