You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
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It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
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Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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