Plan B is the new Plan A
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
