If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
