So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just cropdusted the office
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize