i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
