To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
