As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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