Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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