My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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