I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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