everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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