Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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