This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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