Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I DEMAND FORESKIN
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
