...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to calm my uterus...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
