I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
