Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
