I showed him my bush... on skype.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
