Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Pooping to opera.
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