So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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