i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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