You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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