Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
