just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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