Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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