my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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