i already hear my dad disowning me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
