Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize