the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's shark week go big or go home
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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