i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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