This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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