I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
