I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
