he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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