he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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